Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
