he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
