Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My pussy is not your playground.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
