I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
