Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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