Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
