I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
