i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
as a side note pls kill me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
