Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
