If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
