She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
