Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
should my penis look like a turkey
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
