Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
