I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Randomize
