I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
