I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
