Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
