erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
