Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
