i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
