Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
