I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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