sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
