roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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