Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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