She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
