Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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