What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
