if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
