How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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