When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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