Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have tasted many bathrooms
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
