Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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