his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
