so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
