I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
