But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
