all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
