I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's always time for handjobs
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
