Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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