As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
barbara walters just said penis...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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