Your tits are I can't wait for
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
tell me about the eggs
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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