playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
