So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Best friends brother. Beat that.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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