Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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