And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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