I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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