I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
