If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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