I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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