im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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