So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize