need another drink. this is the easiest way
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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